In which I get trolled….

Lately it seems like…

I’m getting trolled everywhere I turn.

For example, recently, we bought some bags of sweets from the shop, and in the traditional house flip, I won the two bags I most wanted. However, since I’m not mental, I decided to not eat them instantly and save them for whenever. Having left them unattended for no more than 12 hours, Archie and Scotty cut open the bags, removed my sweets and replaced them with inferior, but similar sweets and resealed the bags. Took me fucking ages to notice, all I could think was ‘something’s not quite right here…’ but couldn’t place it until Archie offered me one of my own sweets from his bag, the fucking pipe.

That one was funny, I grant them, some world class trolling, but like I say, lately every Tom, Dick and Harry is trolling me

You mad, bro? Well yes, actually….

Bowlhuzz visits the job centre…

How can’t we be of service…?

These people are the greatest trolls of all. I’m still raging a little bit from my appointment yesterday, but here’s the greatest hits:

[  ] called me Marc

[x] called me ‘Andrew’

[  ] turned up on time

[  ] apologised for tardiness

[  ] appreciated my dryly asking if they thought I’d get a job if I turned up 25 minutes late to the interview.

[x] said it was ‘busy’ that day and that’s why I had to wait.

[  ] was busy

[x] used words like ‘service level agreement’, ‘HMRC mainframe’

[  ] in context, correctly

[x] questioned whether the fact I’d lived in Gibraltar made me a ‘habitual British resident’

[x] were serious

[x] understood the words ‘resident’, ‘habitual’ or ‘British’

[  ] appreciated me asking if they were sure they understood said words.

[x] finally concluded that living in this country for 20+ years was conclusive as to me making a habit of residing in Britain.

[x] appreciated me completing their crossword for them whilst they went to the photocopier.

[x] told me to ‘check the internet 10 times a week for jobs, but don’t necessarily apply for one’ in order to get paid some cash money

[  ] people sure get jobs following that sterling advice

[x] patronised me about the state of the economy

[  ] appreciated being corrected on the state of the labour market.


All in all….


[  ] went well

[x] back on Friday

[  ] hurray.


Please let me find a job soon.



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