In which I horse about…

Structure….

has pretty much been lacking from my life the last couple of weeks, which kinda sucks and as a result, it’s 6am, I’ve been awake all night and am completely unable to sleep.

In an effort to finding some structure, as well as fixing my sleeping pattern, I decided to take a slightly more aggressive approach to job hunting, and it’s gone decent — I had a couple of phone interviews last week and I should hear sometime this week whether all is well.

In the meantime, I obviously still have a decent amount of free time, so I decided to talk to Ben and James about joining their stable to play cash. The benefits of being a horse, especially where there is a good deal of coaching/support are pretty obvious, especially when you’re currently funemployed.  In any event, I’d (briefly) spoken to James about a coaching (but not necessarily backing) deal in the past but never really had the time to commit to anything.

When James posted that the stable was looking for new horses, it felt like serendipity, no, not a shitty rom-com with $romcom_actor in it, but a happy accident because I have more time on my hands now, and joining the stable gets me the coaching I am looking for, as well as hopefully making us all some money. At the beginning, though, it’s not really about money, it’s about adapting to cash games and learning from the rest of the stable.

I’ve had a couple of sessions with James/Ben so far and unleashed the bowlhuzz force on the Sky regs for the first time today where I won roughly three buyins. To be honest, had I run a little bit better, it’d have been four or maybe four and a half buyins, and had I cut out some of the absolute bullshit, I’d have won even more — there are a couple of hands where the lads will probably just give serious consideration to dropping me there and then, some ambitious peels and bullshit bluffs the main culprits.

Tomorrow I’m going to play another couple of sessions (I’m only 3 and 4 tabling atm…) and then review the biggest pots won and lost today with the lads in Skype.  James and Ben make themselves (and the rest of the horses, who have all obv played these limits recently) very accessible for help and advice, so I’d have a huge meta-leak if I wasn’t making use of that and obviously I live with that Haggis fella who has been known to beat the odd 1p/2p game in his time and who actually explains stuff really clearly (albeit in a weird accent!) so I’ll be nagging him as well, no doubt.

Anyway, day one of the Sky Poker adventure, 3 buyins up. More of that please.

Til next time,

Bowlhuzz

In which I need a push…

He warned me this would happen…

He, in this context, being Steven Brennan, sage of our time and self-help guru to nobody but himself. Of all the people I thought would make the best predictions about what would happen to me whilst being unemployed, I didn’t expect it to be this man:

Steve, in his less addled days

For many years, I’ve been a proponent of not listening to Steven Brennan. In my defense, he’s absolutely fucking insane. The man believes in lizards who inhabit human suits. Sure, spend a few hours punting off money to him at Chinese and Big2, shovel him the odd Marlboro Light when he’s definitely, absolutely quit smoking again and  make use of the fact that he lives close by, owns several cars and will happily tolerate having another human in the car for short journeys, but under no circumstances listen to a single word he has to say.  Not one single word. That’s just the rule, and if you stick to it, life will be better, both for you, and for Steve.

I made the cardinal mistake of listening the other day. He had a not-so-cryptic warning for me, and all the worse, it didn’t involve lizards or impending doom. He proffered that if I didn’t start taking the job search seriously, make plans or actually do something throughout the day, I’d end up like a sloth.

Fuck. He’s actually right…

The one time I listen to him in years and he somehow pulls a nailed-on, laser guided truth missile out from his arsenal.

I read a blog today by somebody who’s life story is pretty similar to mine (although they are a little older than me) and as he was describing his life and how he’d gotten into the job he’d been doing, he described himself as someone with low inertia. What he meant was that he finds it incredibly difficult to get something started and up and running. I think laziness is an unkind word, although that’s what some people will surely call it, but I read it and thought: ‘yip, that’s me’.

Where we differ is the fact that once I start something and build up some momentum, I throw everything into it, I can’t be detached, I like to know everything about everything. Inertia, as it happens, isn’t an easy thing to come by — not working sucks a lot and I’m not liking it, but I can equally be distracted from the feelings of worthlessness by the internet at large and not just the generic, bland job search websites where I might find suitable employ.

Inertia comes, and it goes. It’s certainly not constant — there are days (although admittedly few and far between) where I feel full of life and dive into doing the things I know I need to be doing and there are other days where even lying on the sofa watching SSN is too much effort. Most days, I’m somewhere between the extremes, but Brennan was right. I’m getting to be sloth-like and feel a lot of different (and not very pleasant) emotions — I even signed out of Skype because I just couldn’t be arsed with people any more. With each day that passes, I’m getting worse – relationships suffer, self-esteem suffers and the worst of it is that I *know* all of this, but most of the time I can’t be arsed to do a damned thing about it. It’s all about inertia, and my needle dropped to zero.

I actually have no idea how to solve this problem, I thought that writing a short blog post about it might be cathartic, but it wasn’t. Urgh.

Til next time,

Bowlhuzz

In which I get trolled….

Lately it seems like…

I’m getting trolled everywhere I turn.

For example, recently, we bought some bags of sweets from the shop, and in the traditional house flip, I won the two bags I most wanted. However, since I’m not mental, I decided to not eat them instantly and save them for whenever. Having left them unattended for no more than 12 hours, Archie and Scotty cut open the bags, removed my sweets and replaced them with inferior, but similar sweets and resealed the bags. Took me fucking ages to notice, all I could think was ‘something’s not quite right here…’ but couldn’t place it until Archie offered me one of my own sweets from his bag, the fucking pipe.

That one was funny, I grant them, some world class trolling, but like I say, lately every Tom, Dick and Harry is trolling me

You mad, bro? Well yes, actually….

Bowlhuzz visits the job centre…

How can’t we be of service…?

These people are the greatest trolls of all. I’m still raging a little bit from my appointment yesterday, but here’s the greatest hits:

[  ] called me Marc

[x] called me ‘Andrew’

[  ] turned up on time

[  ] apologised for tardiness

[  ] appreciated my dryly asking if they thought I’d get a job if I turned up 25 minutes late to the interview.

[x] said it was ‘busy’ that day and that’s why I had to wait.

[  ] was busy

[x] used words like ‘service level agreement’, ‘HMRC mainframe’

[  ] in context, correctly

[x] questioned whether the fact I’d lived in Gibraltar made me a ‘habitual British resident’

[x] were serious

[x] understood the words ‘resident’, ‘habitual’ or ‘British’

[  ] appreciated me asking if they were sure they understood said words.

[x] finally concluded that living in this country for 20+ years was conclusive as to me making a habit of residing in Britain.

[x] appreciated me completing their crossword for them whilst they went to the photocopier.

[x] told me to ‘check the internet 10 times a week for jobs, but don’t necessarily apply for one’ in order to get paid some cash money

[  ] people sure get jobs following that sterling advice

[x] patronised me about the state of the economy

[  ] appreciated being corrected on the state of the labour market.

 

All in all….

 

[  ] went well

[x] back on Friday

[  ] hurray.

 

Please let me find a job soon.

 

Bowlhuzz

In which I get some heat….

This sure is going…

To be thin. Absolutely positively a thin brag. I’m on a pretty decent live poker heater at the moment — not withstanding not ever being able to win a pot from Craig Mac ^^ — but after Craig busted me from the Thursday’s G game, I entered some freeroll at Genting for £23 and have subsequently turned it into almost £1000 by winning that freeroll and then chopping the Genting £55 on Friday for £720 or so.

Life is pretty easy at the minute. It always is when you got some heattttttt.

Other Stuff….

Well, officially made redundant without my boss saying a word to me which I thought was pretty [  ] classy of him, but I expected no more, he’s a bit of a pipe – actually, he’s more than that, he’s a cancer that will kill the company if they don’t get rid of him, at least in the opinion of everyone who has had the displeasure to work with him. The guys that actually own/founded the company are completely stand up and handled the whole situation really well though, so no real hard feelings, times are hard and difficult decisions have to be made.

Next Steps….

There’s a possibility of a return to Gibraltar for me, but I don’t really want to say too much about that yet, not least until I’ve properly spoken to the lads in the house about what that might mean for the ranch. In any event, I’m looking into the prospect of getting some life rakeback in the meantime. That’s not something I’ve ever wanted to do, but now that I have firm commitments to pay rent etc, I think it’s absolutely fine, given I’ve paid my tax into the system, I don’t see a problem with taking some back — the problems with the social security system in the UK are many and varied, but they certainly aren’t caused by me making a small claim in the event that I don’t find a job soon.

‘Til next time,

Bowlhuzz